You're wrong about me (but I'm right about you), part 2: Words
Recently I told an anecdote about how people assume I must love the heat simply because I grew up in Brazil. The moral of the story was, “Make no assumptions.” But we all do. We make assumptions about people, about things, about situations. We make assumptions without knowing we’re making them. Facts? Who needs facts when we have convictions?
Certain words and expressions are good indicators of a mind that may be looking at the world with preconceived ideas. But we won’t assume that the expressions below NECESSARILY indicate a closed mind, right? See if you recognize some habits of thought and speech in one or more of these statements. And try to suss out why they may reveal a prejudice or three.
- Always. Never. Should. Should not. Must. Must not. Everyone. Nobody, ever!
- As everyone knows…
- I’m sure you’ll agree with me.
- You and I are exactly alike.
- I know what I’m talking about.
- Absolutely. Absolutely not.
- It doesn’t matter what you say anymore. You won’t change my mind.
- I’m surprised you don’t see it.
- You, of all people?
- I was raised that way.
- Where I come from, we really respect other people. Unlike here, where there are so many morons.
- It’s always been that way, and it’ll always be that way. That’s just how it goes.
- I hate oysters. I don’t even have to eat one to know that I hate eating them.
- It’s so obvious.
- You’ll love it! Everyone does!
- It’s the most natural thing in the world.
- I know what you mean.
- Oh, yes, I’ve met many Israelis (or Nigerians, or South Americans, or weight-lifters, or any one group of people). At least five of them.
- It’s a well-known fact.
- That’s what they do, those people.
- You left me with no choice.
Pedro
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Reader Comments (4)
I didn't come up with any examples, but I see these are all subsets of the same thing.
It brings to mind a pet peeve of mine. I loathe the habit some people have of preceding statements with "obviously,...." It gets me thinking to myself, "If it's so obvious, then why do you have to claim it's obvious...." "Can't you let me decide for myself if it's obvious...." "Do you think I'm a dummy that I can't even know something that's so so-called 'obvious'..." "Is this you're way of short-circuiting debate about something that is probably not even true at all?..."
By then, maybe 30 seconds of fuming have elapsed and, well, [obviously,] I completely missed whatever it was he was trying to say, but am too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself.
I know a woman here in Paris whose French husband used to sprinkle his conversation with the French equivalent of "Obviously." "Evidemment," he'd say left and right, driving his wife crazy. One day he said "Evidemment..." about something or other, and the woman had a sudden insight about the absurdity of the word and started laughing. It was the beginning of the end of their marriage.
Well, I hope they got to a counsellor in time to work it out.
The great Marcus Aurelius has a long quote on a different but very related habit (that being the habit of prefacing a statement with a banner advertisement of the statement's soundness), here is a relevant snippet: "Why, man, what is all this? The thing needs no prologue; it will declare itself."
This is a great topic you are on, I look forward to more. Best wishes.
Right and wrong is the ULTIMATE subject, since it touches upon every last thing we ever do or think. As for your friend Marcus Aurelius, he had a good many things to say. "Fix your thought closely on what is being said, and let your mind enter fully into what is being done, and into what is doing it."