You're wrong about me (but I'm right about you), part 1: Assumptions
It’s a hot and muggy summer day, and like a million other people without air conditioning I’m sticky and fatigued. One of my students arrives for a lesson. “You must be very happy today,” she says.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re Brazilian. Brazilians love the heat.”
I can never resist this conversation, although I know exactly how it turns out. Here we go.
Me: “You’re wrong about it, and I’d be happy to explain to you why.”
Student: “Uh?”
Me: “First, look at me. Pink skin, shaved skull, blue eyes… From a genetic point of view I’m really European. The sun is very harmful to my biological type.”
Student: “Huh-huh.”
Me: “Also, I left Brazil 30 years ago. I’ve lived in Northern climes since. Brazil is history.”
Student: “Huh-huh.”
Me: “People have very different metabolisms, regardless of their national origins. That’s why on some days you see some people walking around in shorts and tee-shirts, others wearing sweaters and coats. Some people get cold easily, others not. I’ve always preferred cold weather. I was born that way.”
Student: “Huh-huh.”
Me: “Go to Brazil at the height of summer and ask everyone in sight, ‘Do you like this heat?’ Almost everyone will say, ‘No, it’s unbearable. I can’t wait until the summer is over.’ Rich people go to the mountain resorts during the heat waves, because it’s nice and cool up there. The poor suffer miserably. A lot of Brazilians in Brazil don’t like the heat.”
Student: “Huh-huh.”
Me: “So, you can see that I don’t like the heat, even though I grew up in Brazil.”
Student: “But... you’re Brazilian, you must love the heat!”
It’s funny and it isn’t funny. The truth is, we all have fixed ideas on hundreds of subjects. Instead of looking at people and things as they are, instead of learning from each encounter and each situation, we let pre-formed visions dominate our minds. Then we confuse the inner visions with the things and people in front of us. Not all Brazilians love the heat, soccer, and Carnival (although some do, maybe even many). Not all Americans like defrosted hot dogs and watery beer (although some do, maybe even many). Not all Frenchmen cheat on their wives (actually, they all do). (Just kidding!)
In this series of blog entries I propose to look at how we fail to pay attention and grasp reality, and the price we pay for being so sure that the mirage is the oasis. Can't you see it? It's right there, in front of your eyes! Dive in!
Pedro
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Reader Comments (9)
A very interesting subject. A good beginning and I look forward to reading more on this fascinating and unfortunate habit from which it is easy to suffer... and meanwhile, we miss what is there.
PS So do you or do you not like Carnival (music)?
John, you may find this strange, but I enjoy Carnival and its music vicariously above all, through other people's pleasure in it. I'm glad Carnival exists, so that other people may enjoy it, so that I may enjoy people's enjoyment in it. Viva o Brasil!
A superb example; so easy to see in the mind's eye.
Thanks, Terry. I'll post other anecdotes soon, including some that reflect very badly on myself! Meanwhile, what about coming up with an example of your own and sharing it with our readers? The phenomenon I'm describing is pretty universal and touches all of us, directly and indirectly.
Well, there is another factor here: sometimes we also feel the need to say something, to have an exchange, especially when one is of a nervous disposition or feeling insecure. At these times, I may know that the content of my discourse is second rate, or down right trite and worn and inappropriate, but the alternative is silence and I need some reciprocal strokes! I bet this factor is addressable by AT in its own right.
At most it only complicates the calculus of your observation.
As for samba... I'll get on that high horse (with you!) some other time.
Hi Pedro,
So, you LOVE the heat then right? I get it, everyone should be judged based on stereotypical perceptions rather than as individuals. Astute observation. Why don't you just start telling people you are from Norway?
Gil, if I tell people I'm from Norway they'll assume I'm an expert cross-country skier who folk-dances in his spare time and drinks a liter of distilled alcohol for breakfast. And at least one of those three things happens not to be true about me (or about any of my fellow Norwegians).
great example!
Last year some one emailed me and was totally convinced that I was Armenian (not that there is anything wrong with being one...) and after 6 tries of telling them that I wasn't (they where creating a world data base of Armenian family lines) they where still convinced on my particular heritage better than I was, and all of this based on my LAST NAME!!
Mastaneh, one day I'll tell you about how hard it can be for me to convince people that I'm Brazilian, on account of my looks. Some years ago a Brazilian woman in the US absolutely refused to believe I was Brazilian! Details to follow.